I am from the rusty swings at my middle school,
the crackling sound of metal on metal as the swings move,
swinging higher and higher,
the feeling of flying through the fluffy clouds,
looking and seeing the laughing girls.
They feel the same way.

I am from laughs and giggles of girls sitting in a circle,
joy and love as we eat mac and cheese for the one hundredth time.
Sleeping stacked on one another, fitting on one twin size bed,
the smell of pancakes waking us,
spread out amousted the carpet.

I am from the life lessons of my mother,
“You are loved no matter what,” “Make good decisions,” and “There is always light at the end of the tunnel.”
Dealing with darkness,
finding out my father has cancer,
the frightening feeling,
crying because I had no idea what would happen.
But finally, relief when I learned my mother was right,
the light will come.

I am from the room,
the room that made me a better person,
she sat in front of me and asked “what is going on with you?”
I knew I needed help
when my little brother asked my mom what’s wrong with me.
I was not who I was suppose to be.
The weekly sessions on the couch talking to her,
feeling my Prozac start controlling my emotions.
I felt again,
I started painting,
I started reading.
Dealing with one day and not worrying about another,
not caring about what had happened,
or what will.
Focused on learning to be myself after days of being lost.

I am from being told therapy was over,
I was smiling for the next 4 hours,
I was myself again.
My family all around me,
my love who was with me through the mood swings and the days I laid in bed and didn’t say a word.
I got busy
something I couldn’t do before,
going from work to the relaxing sound of Calvin’s heart beat,
the sound of the oven going off to the sound of his laugh,
never wanting to leave my bed where he sleeps,
day after day a fight to balance work and play.