Recipe for being tired
   
    Ingredients
5 days a week of getting up at 4:30 AM
A heaping pile of unedged bunkers
2 heaping piles of having to edge bunkers
A smidge of spraying herbicide around an entire golf course
A backpack full of boredom
1&½ valleys of weed wacking
A dash of cutting the lawn
1 box of getting home to cut the grass
A boiling cup of interrupted nap
2 drops of going on a date
A pinch of going to bed at 1:30 AM

Directions:
Get a job at your local golf course (preferably one with a lot of groundskeeping work to do)
Agree to work in the mornings on the grounds crew in order to ensure earliest wake up time
Put a heaping pile of unedged bunkers in a large bowl and mix with 2 heaping piles of having to edge said bunkers.
Sprinkle a smidge of spraying herbicide around an entire golf course
Empty the backpack full of boredom into the mixture 30 seconds after the previous step
Wisk 1&½ valleys of weed wacking and a dash of lawn cutting in a separate bowl
Combine the two bowls together and mix thoroughly
Add the box of getting home to cut the grass and a boiling cup of uninterrupted nap into the mixture then refrigerate for 2 hours
Add the 2 drops of going on a date to the mixture 1 hour into the refrigeration process.
Add pinch of going to bed at 1:30 AM after 2 hours then bake at 450 degrees
Repeat this process 5 days a week for 8 weeks for zombie like effects