You said you'd never leave
You said you would stay
Forever with me
But now I see
Based on your personality
Lying was your specialty.
The only word I heard
Was a drunken word
From a man in a parking lot
Rambling on about ghosts
Calling them God.
The man was a drunk
Homeless and stunk
But he was convinced
That he was good
Because he believed
In a book written by crooks.
It shot me down
In front of a crowd
With humility
I was crowned
The demons I had lost
Were once again found
Screaming loud and proud
That I was endowed
But that light has been shroud
Erased from the view of the crowd
And masked instead in the ground
Sprouting the anger that I had found.
And then
There wasn't a sound.
For a single moment
I was numb
I would have known it
If I hadn't gone dumb
From adding the sum
Of the empty bottles of rum
That laid in his fire lit drum.
I might have felt sincerity
And the feeling now would have been a mirror imaging
But the overwhelming lack of sound
Was piercing.
the man was a drunk
But i was drunk on a feeling of deadly adhering
And as the crowd started their cheering
I was left to a personal solitude
In an arena filled with a million impurities.

External conflict
It's become a statistic
One more fight
One more night
Just one more number to blind my sight.
Another mindless war that's hectic
I have no choice but to accept it
Writing is just a way to suppress it
Hiding underlying depression
Inside of my message
Im preaching acceptance
Except it
Is spineless and mindless
Heartlessness entwines us.
Excuse me your highness
But I'm trying to see
In this complete and utter blindness
You hid my pride
How do you expect me to find it
When I am searching lightless.
You say your ways are just
But what i see
Is your ways or bust
Your self-indulging lust
It peaks out way past the crust
So follow you I must?
And give you my trust?
But I don’t trust you
Not nearly enough.
I don’t have any reason to give you my love
Ever since i’ve met you life has been rough
Coincidence?
I think not
So I guess I ought
To forget this ghost
I hear about in the parking lot
Cause after all the battles I fought
And all the lessons I was self-taught
I think i’d rather not
Take the hand of a story
Made-up by a crackpot.
You say you’re real
Well show me yourself
Then I guess I’ll talk
Rather than naught
But until that day
I’ll continue on my misery walk.

This trip
I guess I better book it
Cause the page is torn
So people always mistook it
Said it was truth
Then once again to it
And shook it.
Give to the poor
Be kind to the w***e
Don’t be greedy when you score.
But I have nothing more
Im already on the floor
And im internally torn
Physically scorn
I wish I wasn’t born
And then you tell me to trust
A ghost in an invisible form?
I’m not anti-religion
But i’m also not your carrying pigeon
I won’t preach what I don’t believe in
Afterall I’m barely breathing
And you’re always leaving
Leaving me to my grieving
Thirsty for you
To the point where I'm dry heaving
Im needing
A reason to keep breathing
But I’m surrounded by darkness
And pure lack of reason.
This is treason
You dare invade my thoughts
And tell me what I should be believing?
And when I’m at my lowest
You decide I deserve another beating?
You demand respect
You command a worldwide interest
But leave us to die
If we aren’t perfect.
So you know what I say?
I say forget your God-complex
I have my doubts that's you even exist
So what if I resist?
Are you going to throw down your iron fist?
Are you going to show me who the ghost really is?
No?
Then I'll stay in the mist
Walking blindly
But you won't be missed
You never showed me a single kiss
Even after all those risks
I'm still left with a lingering thought
Of if you really do exist
Or if every prayer I told
Was just a hopeful wish.