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Persistent Rose
October 6, 2010
Overgrown rosebush
Reaches aspiring limbs
Out towards its dreams
Thorns misunderstood
Cut away from ambition
Severed branches bleed
Fallen arms reborn
More ambitious than before
Resilient bush
© Wajida S., Shrewsbury, MA
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION
This article has 6 comments.
Alex_Durham GOLD said...
on Jun. 8 2011 at 9:19 am
Wow. This is amazing.
I'm in love with this! I read your comment afterwards and I understood why you put cut away from ambition severed branches bleed. It is really a beautiful thought that after our dreams have been curtailed like a rose's thorns cut off, we grow back stronger and tougher than ever
The first stanza is good, and the third is good, but the second is my favorite by far. I love the way you worded the first two lines of the second stanza. I think that this stanza has the most striking imagery, although the entire thing is gorgeous. Kudos, by the way on managing to make this fit in haiku form. My haiku wander considerably in the syllable count trying to be descriptive, so I am quite impressed with this poem. :)
SpringRayyn PLATINUM said...
on Nov. 2 2010 at 7:00 pm
I like how you said "fallen arms reborn" in the last line. I can NOT write haikus like at all, so this is pretty awesome to me. C: I think it flows really well.
i love this! the whole choppy feel of the poem (I'm guessing it's a haiku, because of the comment below mine?) Haiku's are so hard, it takes a lot of work and talent to be able to convey a message while still staying within the rules of the haiku! kudos to you!
elfen_girl BRONZE said...
on Oct. 20 2010 at 12:42 pm
wow that was amazing
i love haikus. u really managed to describe the subject really well and with the right siliballs.
(love the comment also)
