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Contamination Beyond Control

February 13, 2015
By MysticMusic ELITE, Waterloo, Other
More by this author
MysticMusic ELITE, Waterloo, Other
116 articles 0 photos 118 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.&rdquo; -Mae West<br /> &quot;It had long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things.&quot; - Leonardo Da Vinci

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Sludge- murky slime slids

into the once-healthy stream,

now bubbles with death.

© Hui Y., Potsdam, NY

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This article has 5 comments.

MysticMusic ELITE said...
on Mar. 11 2015 at 8:17 pm
MysticMusic ELITE, Waterloo, Other
116 articles 0 photos 118 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.&rdquo; -Mae West<br /> &quot;It had long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things.&quot; - Leonardo Da Vinci

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It is quite difficult to fit an entire message in a haiku, and words usually have to be removed, replaced and switched around before an outline is made. I've had to remove quite a few words that I wanted to add to give the poem more emphasize on the deadly effects of pollution, but I'm satisfied with the result for now. Thank you for the critique.
MysticMusic ELITE said...
on Mar. 11 2015 at 8:15 pm
MysticMusic ELITE, Waterloo, Other
116 articles 0 photos 118 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.&rdquo; -Mae West<br /> &quot;It had long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things.&quot; - Leonardo Da Vinci

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Thank you very much, that was my purpose with writing poetry, and I'm glad the meaning came across.
Mckay ELITE said...
on Mar. 3 2015 at 10:12 pm
Mckay ELITE, Somewhere, Virginia
146 articles 0 photos 2230 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.&quot;<br /> &mdash;Apple&rsquo;s &ldquo;Think Different&rdquo; commercial, 1997<br /> &ldquo;Crazy people are considered mad by the rest of the society only because their intelligence isn&#039;t understood.&rdquo; <br /> ― Weihui Zhou

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Poetry is power. This demonstrates that poetry can not only be poetry, but political, anything really. And haiku! Seventeen syllables can contain a message far more powerful and revealing than an essay or a book about pollution or acid rain. Well done. Well deserved Editors' Choice.
WOWriting SILVER said...
on Feb. 22 2015 at 12:37 pm
WOWriting SILVER, Broadstairs, Other
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I like the imagery of a 'once-healthy stream' being contaminated until it 'bubbles with death'. Personally i dont think you can convey enough emotion in a haiku, but this poem does it fairly well. I understand you have to fit a certain number of syllables in each line, but i think if lengthened, this could be more effective. Other than this, I think this poem is quite a good, thought-provoking piece.