Contamination Beyond Control | Teen Ink
  1. Home
  2. Poetry
  3. Haiku
  4. Contamination Beyond Control

Contamination Beyond Control

February 13, 2015
By MysticMusic ELITE, Waterloo, Other
More by this author
MysticMusic ELITE, Waterloo, Other
116 articles 0 photos 118 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.&rdquo; -Mae West<br /> &quot;It had long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things.&quot; - Leonardo Da Vinci

View profile

Sludge- murky slime slids

into the once-healthy stream,

now bubbles with death.

© Hui Y., Potsdam, NY

Post a comment
Submit your own

Similar Articles

Previous Next
Poetry
Hesitation
By Anonymous
Poetry
User
By TheNatural GOLD
Aurora, Oregon
TheNatural GOLD, Aurora, Oregon
11 articles 0 photos 0 comments
View profile
Poetry
Plains of Old
By LordKiwi2008 BRONZE
Lubbock, Texas
LordKiwi2008 BRONZE, Lubbock, Texas
1 article 0 photos 0 comments
View profile
Poetry
Living Life the Cowboy Way
By Aimee Rinehart BRONZE
Lubbock, Texas
Aimee Rinehart BRONZE, Lubbock, Texas
2 articles 0 photos 0 comments
View profile
Poetry
A Thief In The Night
By Princella Langs BRONZE
Lubbock, Texas
Princella Langs BRONZE, Lubbock, Texas
2 articles 0 photos 0 comments
View profile
Poetry
Weather of the West
By Cristobal Chavez BRONZE
Lubbock, Texas
Cristobal Chavez BRONZE, Lubbock, Texas
1 article 0 photos 0 comments
View profile

JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 5 comments.

MysticMusic ELITE said...
on Mar. 11 2015 at 8:17 pm
MysticMusic ELITE, Waterloo, Other
116 articles 0 photos 118 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.&rdquo; -Mae West<br /> &quot;It had long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things.&quot; - Leonardo Da Vinci

View profile
It is quite difficult to fit an entire message in a haiku, and words usually have to be removed, replaced and switched around before an outline is made. I've had to remove quite a few words that I wanted to add to give the poem more emphasize on the deadly effects of pollution, but I'm satisfied with the result for now. Thank you for the critique.
MysticMusic ELITE said...
on Mar. 11 2015 at 8:15 pm
MysticMusic ELITE, Waterloo, Other
116 articles 0 photos 118 comments

Favorite Quote:
&ldquo;You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.&rdquo; -Mae West<br /> &quot;It had long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things.&quot; - Leonardo Da Vinci

View profile
Thank you very much, that was my purpose with writing poetry, and I'm glad the meaning came across.
Mckay ELITE said...
on Mar. 3 2015 at 10:12 pm
Mckay ELITE, Somewhere, Virginia
146 articles 0 photos 2230 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.&quot;<br /> &mdash;Apple&rsquo;s &ldquo;Think Different&rdquo; commercial, 1997<br /> &ldquo;Crazy people are considered mad by the rest of the society only because their intelligence isn&#039;t understood.&rdquo; <br /> ― Weihui Zhou

View profile
Poetry is power. This demonstrates that poetry can not only be poetry, but political, anything really. And haiku! Seventeen syllables can contain a message far more powerful and revealing than an essay or a book about pollution or acid rain. Well done. Well deserved Editors' Choice.
WOWriting SILVER said...
on Feb. 22 2015 at 12:37 pm
WOWriting SILVER, Broadstairs, Other
5 articles 0 photos 266 comments
View profile
I like the imagery of a 'once-healthy stream' being contaminated until it 'bubbles with death'. Personally i dont think you can convey enough emotion in a haiku, but this poem does it fairly well. I understand you have to fit a certain number of syllables in each line, but i think if lengthened, this could be more effective. Other than this, I think this poem is quite a good, thought-provoking piece.