At All | Teen Ink

At All

May 8, 2024
By emmadurance BRONZE, Auburn, Washington
emmadurance BRONZE, Auburn, Washington
4 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Mind over matter and I don’t seem to matter to you.

Small minded raindrops that by morning turned into dew

An open discussion discussing why she only wants to see who she knew.

And feeling like flying while knowing my feelings aren’t even in your view. 


Wanting relief from her smile that now seems nothing but fake.

And giving my niceties knowing that she only likes to take.

Leaving me high and dry, holding out my hand.

It’s like total destruction from someone who I called a friend.


Questioning everything,

I know it was for the best.

Reasoning without me and you,

I know it was for the best.

I’m going crazy,

I don’t regret it at all.


Golden inflections of old things that we used to say.

Hating myself for only protecting my name.

Becoming somebody that I would be proud to love.

Throwing myself around, believing that I was something to dispose of.


Keep it professional, smile and speak quietly.

Dressing room conversations you have after I leave.

Hating your guts but keeping it all to me.

Wondering when I found the courage to leave.


Questioning everything,

I know it was for the best.

Reasoning without me and you,

I know it was for the best.

I’m going crazy,

I don’t regret it at all.


I’d show up at your door asking you to take me back.

But when you speak, I can’t promise how I’ll react.

I’ll react accordingly, when you talk down to me,

When you know, you were the only reason why I had to leave.


Questioning everything,

I know it was for the best.

Reasoning without me and you,

I know it was for the best.

I’m going crazy,

I don’t regret it at all.

I don’t regret it at all.


The author's comments:

I wrote this song as a kind of "love letter" to my ex-best friend. Essentially, I am telling her that she could trick me into being her friend again if she tried. I think this song is filled with doubt and regret about the future of my ability to be friends with other people based on how I was treated in other friendships. I wrote this song around November 2023 when I was 17 years old. 


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