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He's A Rainbow
February 17, 2010
His smile is the sunshine
His smile is a golden ray
His smile is a circle of heaven
Warmth on a cold day
It makes his perfect eyes shine
It’s like a candle flame
It’s something you can stare at
A bright heart it contains
I don’t know how to describe it
It’s that warm and fuzzy feeling
It’s a tingle through your fingertips
It’s the glances you’ve been stealing
His smile is the sunshine
But this you already know
Of course his laugh will be the rain
So together it’s a rainbow
© Shirley L., Chino Hills, CA
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION
This article has 51 comments.
Seaa_Bearr SILVER said...
on Aug. 10 2011 at 6:34 pm
So cute. If you just want to sing this to me i'd be okay with it. I'm a girl too.. but i'd still be okay with it.(:
drmstarlet21 GOLD said...
on Feb. 15 2011 at 7:12 pm
Hi there! I'd just like to let you know I've been having an awful day, one of those where you feel out of sorts and it's full of sadness and distress, you know? Anyway, when I read this, it unexpectedly made me smile. Such a simple-seeming reaction to such a simple-sounding poem is incredible, although both go much deeper than what is seen on the surface. It made me wonder whether there are really boys like this out there, and I hope the answer is yes. To quote another user, the picture it painted in my mind was astounding. It reminds me of the horizon. Thank you for making my day.
Fredwardness SILVER said...
on Aug. 7 2010 at 7:46 pm
This is a cute poem, It's one of those poems that make you smile despite yourself or how you're feeling. I like it, you did a good job, my friend. :)
collegegirladventures GOLD said...
on Aug. 3 2010 at 9:25 pm
VERry cute!!
This poem was very sweet and I liked it a lot! I don't have much to criticize except maybe the flow of it. Actually, the flow isn't very bad, it could just be improved a bit. For example, I feel that the first verse could be rewritten without having 'his smile' three times. It gets too repetitive. But other than that, It was very good! Great job. :)
JustKeepRowin SILVER said...
on Jul. 30 2010 at 2:14 pm
lol! you know what's weird.. I'm Sarah, too! Small world... or really common name. lol! I also enjoy my pancakes!
JustKeepRowin SILVER said...
on Jul. 27 2010 at 10:46 pm
Okay, I probably have the worst advice for you because I am seriously lacking in the poetry section of my brain, but I do like have this poem flowed. I really want to met this boy you were talking about just because of this poem. You made him sound dreamy. You gave me a very good picture of him in my mind. I liked this poem; however, I personally, think it could have flowed a little better... That's just me though. Sorry this is so long, but I like to talk and I'm hyper which doesn't help! :D
Just.A.Dream SILVER said...
on Jul. 26 2010 at 6:25 pm
WOW, I CAN'T BELIEVE I DIDN'T COMMENT ON THIS YET! :'(
Good job! This boy sounds very sweet, he should be honored you wrote this about him!
AMAZING JOB, SARAH!!! :)
cantfindascreename BRONZE said...
on Jul. 25 2010 at 7:03 pm
Well I will start by saying that I really liked this! But if you want me to be mean(not that I have much to be mean about) I would just say to try and use more realistic, or just more descriptive vocabulary. For example, you said his perfect eyes, which isn't bad, but to make it original i would use a less used word? If this makes any sense, it does in my head(: But truly i just thought it was really good and really cute!
partlycloudyholiday SILVER said...
on Jul. 25 2010 at 6:39 am
This poem is so cute! I would suggest re-writing it without the repetition. Repetition can be a useful tool, but being too repetitive can get boring. Overall, it's adorable and it made me smile. :)
