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Under the Same Moon
I can hear the hum
I can feel your veins
Reaching out just to catch your pain
I used to know how to dream
now life flows on, like an endless stream
Melancholy goodbyes
Your tears are just another drop into the sea
Sometimes it's hard to believe you breath the same air as me
So watch the moon-fall on your silent balcony
And I'll gaze too,
If I can blank out the city streets
The same stars above,
day after day
seem different now, as I see your face
I'll cover your fears with my flushed cheek bones
as you kiss me
between the ears
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This article has 30 comments.
Hey dontforget,
I really like this poem. It conveys a lot of an emotion which is easily relatable. First off, the photograph is beautiful. The expression is amazing and the girl is beautiful. (Sorry, I know we're talking about the poem) There are a few parts of the imagery which I don't quite understand, the most prominate of which is the phrase "my flushed cheek bones". Bones cannot be flushed. I think the word "bones" sort of throws off the balance of this work because it makes the narrator sound lifeless ie. emotionless which doesn't fit at all with the highly emotive tone of the other stanzas. If, on the other hand, you used the word "bones" to suggest that the flush was more than skin deep then bravo for the image but perhaps there is a more clear way to phrase it where it wont throw off the balance as much.
Also, I love the image of a "moon-fall" I think that's beautiful.
Thanks for sharing =)
-AngelSeraphina
15 articles 0 photos 74 comments
Favorite Quote:
"The best things in life are left unseen. That's why we close our eyes when we cry, kiss, and dream."