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Lost in the Moment
January 9, 2013
Im lost in the moment, forgetting all your torment, can`t control my movements, im leaving you with cupid, loves a waste of time, its stupid.
all love is lost, you were to much like a boss, no care in the world, only money you could toss, i showed you passion, i showed you love, and you repayed me with a hateful shove, i wont say i hate you, i will never try to hurt you, but all hope is lost as im, lost in the moment.
Im lost in the moment, forgetting all your torment, can`t control my movements, im leaving you with cupid, loves a waste of time, its stupid.
I feel like im drugged, only by your love, now that im finished, you can say your done, i only waqnt you to love me, like i love you mum.
© Angelica M. Pequannock, NJ
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This article has 9 comments.
Saintz-Flam3Rose PLATINUM said...
on Feb. 6 2013 at 1:24 pm
not just about me its about all the kids with mothers who care more about ther bfs then thier kids
Saintz-Flam3Rose PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 31 2013 at 7:59 am
lol it was supposed to be confusing thats the point of the song and thx for the that and btw thats why i named it lost in the moment
Yeah, I totally did not even thnk that it was about a mother until that last line, you might want to change your word choice because words like "passion" and "cupid" all point toward a romatnic love instead of fmilial. There are also some minor grammatical errors (like apostrophes) and spelling errors. The structure of the poem is a little confusing as well, and you might want to think about separating some of the phrases onto different lines. Otherwise, the overall tone of the poem is really nice and I like it a lot!
Sparkle1pops PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 16 2013 at 9:26 pm
I totally thought that was about a guy until the last line, that makes it so interesting. I found myself even reading itathird time! A few spelling mistakes, and also make sure you capitalize you "i" when you are refering to yourself.
XweienX said...
on Jan. 16 2013 at 6:22 am
You're welcome, do leave another message on my forum post when you have a new poem. :)
Saintz-Flam3Rose PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 15 2013 at 10:08 am
wow your good and thanks about the mistake i didnt notice it for some rason.
XweienX said...
on Jan. 15 2013 at 9:49 am
Wow! Anyone out there who DIDN'T think this was for a lover? Anyway, the poem is great overall, good rhyming.
What I would suggest is to seperate the poems line by line, and also I believe there is a minor spelling mistake in the last stanza.
But still, a great poem! Keep up the good work!
What I would suggest is to seperate the poems line by line, and also I believe there is a minor spelling mistake in the last stanza.
But still, a great poem! Keep up the good work!
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Favorite Quote:
“If you're losing your soul and you know it, then you've still got a soul left to lose” <br /> ― Charles Bukowski