The Second Side of the Soul | Teen Ink

The Second Side of the Soul

February 23, 2016
By Anonymous

Watch my breath as
It turns into gold
But the face in the glass is a face not my own
Watch my face as
It lengthens in size
Those aren’t eyes
Those are deep dark black holes for the eyes
And it’s me


The heroes are warm
And the heroes are paid
When the massacre breaks out
It’s the heroes souls saved
You may not believe me
No toil in fiction
But I had a castle once too

It’s a side effect
Of the pills I’ve been taking
The pills of estrangement
And terror and truth
It’s a side effect
Of these pills they’re all taking
The pills of derangement and ruth

Watch my breath as
It turns into gold
But the face in the glass is a face not my own
Watch my face as
It lengthens in size
Those aren’t eyes
Those are deep dark black holes for the eyes
And it’s me


The author's comments:

This is a poem I wrote about dealing with Body Dysmorphic Disorder (not a personal experience, but one seen through the eyes of a friend). There are three sections in this poem. The first explains the narrator's disorder and the "monster" she sees in the mirror. The poem then discusses the narrator's struggles to be a "hero" and keep herself sane, though her world seems a nightmare. The narrator tells of how she "had a castle once too," the castle referring to her childhood, where every house seemed like a castle and she knew how the "heroes" in her fairytales felt. The third section tells of "the pills" the narrator is taking. These are both physical and metaphorical pills, the physical pills that the narrator is taking for her disorder and the depression that comes with it, and the metaphorical pills that the narrator's culture is feeding her (the pills of information that caused her disorder). At the end of the poem, the first stanza is repeated, showing that this is a constant cycle of pain and doubt in the narrator's mind. Her disorder is a never ending cycle.


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