to the tune of "On the Open Road" from A Goofy Movie

Friend:

Do you haaaave

A dream to be an author?

Do you longgggg

To be in print someday?

If you want to write,

Take my advice:

Your triumph will

Be worth the price

So write it,

Just fill the empty page!

C'mon, Maxie!

Author:

Suddenly, my ceiling's fascinating

Suddenly, my desk is all the rage

This plot is dumb; it just won't work

And I'm about to go berserk

I need to

Destroy the empty page!

Friend:

The first draft's always stupid

But it will just improve

'Cause we will fight until the day is won!

*Friend confiscates Author's phone*

Author:

My phone, please don't forget me

You'll be returned someday

Though I may go insane before I'm done

Friend:

Just relaaaaax and get the words on paper

Author:

This is worrrrse than a rejection letter

Friend:

You'll begiiiiin to like it in no time

Author:

I'm so stummped; I think the story died

Friend:

When I start a story, I could cry!

Author:

Y'know, that's funny--so could I!

Both:

Just starin' down at the empty page!

Agents:

Will you boys

Be looking for an agent? ;)

Editors:

Either write

Or stop this dumb charade

Insecure writer:

I'm in no hurry to submit

'Cause red ink will get spilled on it

It's better

Left as an empty page

Excited writer:

A retreat away from all distractions!

Cowriter:

Yeah!

Excited writer:

There are parts

I think I need to change

Author:

*eyeing the manuscript, shocked*

Many parts!

Eager writers:

And it's to the printing press for us!

Blogger:

My blogs will leave you in the dust

When e-books

Replace each paper page!

Friend:

With adjectives and gerunds

How could this not be fun?

English Major Graduates:

Here's to grammar

Without a big exam!

Friend:

Yee-haw!

Author:

I need to run an errand

If I can think of one--

Oh, praise the Lord!

We're all out of spam!

Friend:

Oh!

All the writers:

Ev'ry day, another new idea!

Ev'ry hour, another dream to chase!

All the books we wrote

And still we grow

Author:

Yet I seem stunted, don't I know.

All the writers:

Creating's such a thrill

We're practicing our skill

How wonderful to fill

Ev'ry empty page!