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On a Beam of Mean
Verse 1:
You say I’ve gone crazy,
You think you can just laugh about me behind my back,
And then you act all innocent when I die on the inside from panic attacks,
Did you think you could just walk away from me?
Walk away without a scratch,
Well it’s not gonna be that easy,
I die on the inside,
My anxiety takes me on a roller coaster ride,
You can’t just throw insults at me,
I am on a rocky balance bean,
You toss your insults at me,
Hoping they'll scratch me and I will fall to my mental death,
You think you can get rid of me that easily,
But you don't have any idea,
What of kind of hell you put me through,
I am stronger than you,
I will not fall of the beam.
Verse 2:
I am gonna keep on walking,
And talking,
About what ever the hell I want,
Even if it drives you crazy,
I am me,
I have climbed up to the extreme,
Of seeing my inspiring story,
On the cover of magazines,
You can laugh all you want,
Say she is just caught up in a dream,
Well darling,
I am on my way to turning that dream a reality,
I do not care about the fiery ring I have to climb through,
Because I have a chance to pull myself through,
This is the opportunity,
I have been waiting for,
Do not go slamming doors in my face,
I will open them and escape,
I am stronger than worthless,
I am brighter than gold,
And on my way to New York for my escape,
Verse 3:
Caught up in a dream?
Maybe thats what you believe,
Throw your insults to me,
I bet you I will be able to catch them on the beam,
You are ready to scream,
But not in laughter,
Not in happy,
But in fear,
Because I have reached my inner ear,
Of hearing confidence in myself,
Took a few years,
But I am here,
I have reached the point,
To where I know now,
Everything you ever said,
Was to get me to cry you some empathy,
Because people are leaving you for me,
At some point in our lives,
People will start to realize,
The lies you are made of,
The blood running down my arm,
How words hurt a million lives.
Verse 4:
He killed himself the other day,
She stabbed herself in the arm,
And watched her mother and father lean over her in disbelief,
That guy over there is trying desperately to stop combing his hair,
Because when he does,
He cries for days from the insults being handed into his brain,
The six year old girl in the chair,
Looks over and thinks this is normal behavior,
Mean girls are just gonna be mean,
And if you are not one of them,
You can never be queen,
Well some girls may believe this is true,
This is how generations of mean keep flowing,
But baby girl,
I am still on the beam,
And I am ready to be queen,
I did not get here for being mean,
I’m still queen.
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