M.I.L.A. | Teen Ink

M.I.L.A.

April 24, 2023
By Anna_Grace GOLD, New Paltz, New York
Anna_Grace GOLD, New Paltz, New York
16 articles 0 photos 0 comments

It starts with that damned red, a crimson to end all crimson,

It goes on like that, as I hear, “b*tch,” “devil’” “heathen”,

It starts with a puzzle piece like a twinkling flame long forgotten,

But then the remembrance bleeds like a lover’s cries that she’s lost him,

The tides take me under, the sky opens with a hurricane,

The house shreiks with thunder, while I shreik with rage.

The glasses shatter on the ground, the pages rip and burn,

So, answer me, girl of my memory, I have nowhere else to turn


Glimmers just beyond my fingertips,

Whispered words and a whispered wish,

Fractured ankles and fractured ribs,

Tortured eyes and one tortured witch.

Flashes when I cannot breathe,

Twisted flame and twisted screams, 

Burning hearts and burning wooden beams,

Lying on the floor and through my teeth,

May the lord have mercy.

Mila, can I ask, in truth,

Mila, do you feel the shame I do?

Mila, have the people been so cruel?

Mila, how can I get through to you?

Mila, though it’s harsh, this world,

Mila, can I be a foolish girl?

Mila, must I choose this quest?

Mila…may I live again?


The day goes on in a cloudy haze, as the demons eat me alive,

How can I get through this pain, if I can’t even survive?

Ashes turn to embers, reminding me of scarlet hair and dark eyes,

November becomes December, but I lose track of time,

Lanterns glow against the dark, but they burn out with a breeze,

Freedom is falling hailstorm hard, falling just beyond my reach

The world is full of Cheshire grins, nothing is what it seems

And here I am, screaming at the wind, so goddamnit, answer me!


Glimmers just beyond my fingertips,

Whispered words and a whispered wish,

Fractured ankles and fractured ribs,

Tortured eyes and one tortured witch.

Flashes when I cannot breathe,

Twisted flame and twisted screams, 

Burning hearts and burning wooden beams,

Lying on the floor and through my teeth,

May the lord have mercy.

Mila, can I ask, in truth,

Mila, do you feel the shame I do?

Mila, have the people been so cruel?

Mila, how can I get through to you?

Mila, though it’s harsh, this world,

Mila, can I be a foolish girl?

Mila, must I choose this quest?

Mila…may I live again?


Wandering, wondering sky scraping spires,

Burning, blazing, fainting fires

Oceans rise and oceans fall,

I loved once, I loved them all.

Glimmering, glittering, vibrant venom,

Lovely losses, airbrushed addendums,

Oceans rise and oceans break,

I loved once, it was not a mistake.


Red thread ‘round my little finger twining, twisting,

Long dead keening, screaming, whispering,

Ribbons ‘round my ribs are scarlet blistering,

Please, girl of my memory, are you listening?

Through the ice, a dandelion blooms,

Is the killer with us in this room?

Yes, my life is in your hands, I presume.

But it’s time to take it back from the brink of the blue.

Mila, I have to say, it’s true,

Mila, I am not ashamed of you,

Mila, I hope the people have not been cruel,

Mila, I hope that I got through 

So, Mila, though it’s harsh, this world,

Mila, neither of us are foolish girls

Mila, I escaped the jaws of death,

Mila, I will live again.


The author's comments:

M.I.L.A. has a double meaning: it is both the name of a girl I knew when I was young and now an acronym for "May I Live Again." This poem represents the many steps of trauma recovery, from self-blame to anger to depression and back to hope and freedom. It is both for me and for Mila, and also for whoever needs to read it and hear, "I understand."


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