This is a story
Full of glory
This story is about a man
Equipped with a plan
To find a Christmas tree

He didn’t want trees
With bees or fleas
Not one that wobbled
Or toppled
He wanted a light one
That weighed less than a ton

And it had to be green
Not the olive green he’d seen
Pure Christmas green
With a dazzling sheen
‘How 'bout this one’, asked the storekeeper
pointing to a tree that couldn’t be cheaper

‘Definitely not. It doesn’t smell right’
said the man, ‘and it’s too white.’
‘Well that’s the snow
It’s not how the tree grows!’

A pine cone car freshener, the man dwelled
That’s how his Christmas tree should have smelled
As bright as the green exit sign
That should’ve been the color of his pine
As wide as the Black Sea
That should’ve been his Christmas tree

Now the trees are gone and it’s Christmas time
And even though the man doesn’t give a dime
About Jesus Christ and his rebirth
The man can’t help but wonder who on this earth
Stole his Christmas tree