Well… The first how to caught me unprepared and slightly frightened. The beginning struck me as bit dull as I expected it to be, but somewhere in the third of fourth rule it got more than a little out there. I understand the whole leave an impression but that was a bit much. The message of number six made sense but the explanation was nothing but rabble. I mean drinking from a chipped mug? How does that relate to keeping what is important off the page? ‘To make it more modern just add more fish’? Using writer’s block as an excuse whenever you don’t know what to write? Talk about a crutch. Its like the writer put down the first sentence of each rule and then just said whatever it took to keep the reader’s interest.

The second how to was formal in the laziest sense of the word. Every other sentence either referenced or quoted from a book. I wouldn’t have minded if I had read all the books. But here’s the thing: I haven’t. I had never been so happy to see a reference to The Great Gatsby or The Odyssey in my life. I understand that all these people are great writers and can spew out award winning novels. Thats great for them, but telling me names of great writers won’t make me any better at it. I must say, this was less of a “how to” and more of a “who did.”

Where the second focused on others, the third writer instead chose to write all about himself. “Oh you’ve got a problem? Well I had a problem too and I did this and it worked out pretty well for me.” He referenced his own book so many times I thought I was reading a personal ad. Writing one how to book doesn’t make you an expert on the subject. He sounded like a self-righteous prick who thought he could help people with problems he himself had never experienced before.

I don’t mean to be a Simon Cowell here, but all of them had a single mindedness to them that bordered on insanity. They had one writing style in mind and treated it like their own personal bible. Don’t get me wrong, there was plenty of useful information i got out of it but the delivery was like drudging through five feet of snow to get the mail.