If you have ever felt lost or completely alone, struggling to understand things beyond your reach, than you will identify with this book, Clasping Control. It is thought provoking and tinged with sadness and hoping against hope. Along the way, you realize that the one thing you can always change is yourself.
The struggle this main character encounters is brought out right away by not even knowing her name.
“I never realized how hard it might be to not have memories,” he began quietly. I listened intently, comforted by his attempt to understand my situation. “I used to almost wish for it. I mean it was like a clean slate. No one could blame you for things either. All of your bad choices or embarrassing moments would be gone to. You had the freedom to become whoever you wanted to be and you wouldn’t be restricted by the past. But now I see how wrong I was. If anything, the past restricts you more if you can’t remember it. Because it never goes away. It’ll always be there, something you just can’t get over. It’s in human nature to be curious right? Like the whole Pandora’s box thing. So you’re past is like Pandora’s Box except instead of fighting the urge to open it, you physically can’t.”-pg 17
This main character, whose name is later, revealed to be Lillian, Lily for short, wakes up without a memory in a medical institute for people with strange problems. Her past haunts her and she craves more information about why she really is here and what her medical abnormality is.
Her first explanation of her situation comes from her roommate, Elaine, a snarky, sarcastic, bitter, and at times even cruel girl. Elaine herself is a huge mystery. The main character slowly develops her relationship with this girl all the while trying to find out more about her and what her condition is.
The mysteries continue to multiply as Lily adjusts to the strange life at the institute. Doctors and scientists study them for the majority of the day and run experiments, overall treating them like inanimate objects with no voice. Lily is introduced to Dr. Ranette, the doctor who is in charge of them, Dr. Green, a strange physiologist whose motives remain unknown. Whether he really wants to listen and help Lily or if he’s just par to f the rest of the institutes heartless staff, is a question pondered by Lily.
Other patients with mysterious conditions are presented to her at a group therapy session. Elijah, another patient somehow connected to Elaine’s past grows closer to Lily, much to her roommate’s displeasure. Every mystery continues building up, eventually resulting in Elijah, Elaine, and Lily all escaping together in search for different things and struggling to keep out of the institute’s clutches. Unlikely allies on a journey clues and shocking backstories keep up the story’s momentum right up to the surprising end with all the answers you could hope for.
Written from multiple perspectives, mainly Lily’s and Elaine’s, as a reader, you get to really know and understand these characters. Each is completely relatable and although they all mess up at some point and may even make you furious at them, you still root for them all. Each is battling a different issue and has their own unique personality quirks. How they all band together despite their differences and often bad first meetings or past experiences, really inspire you. In times of uncertainty and heart ache, they learn to depend on each other, forgive, and learn that there’s always another side to the story.
These character’s relationships, personalities, and troubles will stick with you long after you finish reading this book. The moral dilemmas, mysteries, bonding moments and amazing connections formed really inspire me and teach everyone something about themselves or human nature.
Lots of new topics or themes are explored here. The idea that you never really get a clean slate is adapted by Lily. The fact that control should be cherished ant that we often take it for granted, even though without out it we would have nothing comes to us through Elaine’s eyes. Ideas of forgiveness, being able to change and how to accept your past mistakes are explored by Elijah.
Creating unimaginable characters, setting and plot line that pulls you in and keeps you turning page after page until you reach the end of the book, I can’t think of one reason not to read this. So many elements and conflicts exist in this book along with a mix of genres that can appeal to anyone human.