Twilight, the highly anticipated vampire romance flick based on the bestselling books by Stephenie Meyer, opens with a breathtaking scene: an adorable deer lapping water from a quiet stream in a luscious forest. Then, out of nowhere, a being appears, attacking the deer and sucking its blood. The deer dies instantly.

I wish I was that lucky.

Instead, I sat through two hours of a mind numbingly boring film filled with cheesy dialogue and incompetent actors. Kristen Stewart, who plays the protagonist Bella Swan, delivers a performance that is colder than a vampire's skin. She and Robert Pattinson (Edward Cullen) have no chemistry. Every scene they have together feels forced and painful, not to mention emotionless.

The plot, too, is unrealistic, even for a vampire movie. It's almost as if Bella and Edward look at each other and think, “Gee, he's hot, I'd be willing to become the undead for him” or “Wow, she smells tasty. I think she's my soul mate.” There is no connection between the pair, yet the book (and therefore the movie) pretends there is.

The film was, in my opinion, slightly better than the book, for the simple fact that Bella's incessant internal whining didn't translate from the book to the screen. Small consolation for sacrificing two hours of my life that I'll never get back.