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Ted (2012)
3.5 out of 5
Ted: I met a girl.
John: Nice!
Ted: She's a cashier. Know what I'd like to do to her? Might call her 'Dirty Fuzzy'.
Seth MacFarlane brings his Family-Guy-ish humor to the big screen in Ted, a story about a man-child who is still attached to his living, breathing teddy bear that has been his best friend since childhood who basically holds him back from life. Of course Ted and him like to smoke weed, and of course Ted brings hookers up to his apartment to watch movies, and of course Ted offends everyone he encounters and swears so much he makes last year's Paul look like Jesus Christ himself. (Anyone?) This is where a lot of the movie's laugh's come from. It may seem like one big repetitive joke but what makes this movie so good is that it never runs out of steam. MacFarlane's "racy" jokes keep going on and on and it works brilliantly.
It's too bad that nothing here really made me crack up. And I think the reason for that is because this film feels too short. It really zips right by and, frankly, I wanted more. I think if more jokes were added in, it could have made up for the (somewhat) stupid third act.
Ted: I look like Snuggles' accountant
I am a fan of the show Family Guy. I think it is a very cleaver and sometimes gut-bustingly hilarious cartoon. For some odd reason I feel attached to all of the quirky characters on it. Sure, none of them are perfect human beings, but I really do like being around them, like any great show should do.
That is pretty much why I don't like MacFarlane's other two shows, American Dad and the Cleavland Show. It's basically because I don't like the characters on those shows. They are not relatable or funny, they are just kind of mean. (with the exception of Cleavland Brown) That is why I was hoping that Ted would have like-able characters like on Family Guy and it does!
Mark Wahlberg as John is just excellent here. You really do believe that Ted is there with him. It's actually quite amazing how he works with Ted...or at least pretends to work with him.
Mila Kunis is the exact opposite of what you would expect her character to be. She is actually a pretty cool chick. You really can see where she is coming from when she asks of Ted to move out because, as much as we all love talking Teddy bears that you can share a beer with, you can really see how he is holding John back.
John: Can you call my cellphone?
Lori: Yeah
[Lori calls John's phone which plays "The Imperial March"]
Lori: Is that my ringtone? What is that? Cause it sounds really negative.
John: No. I-it's from The Notebook
Ted is fun to be around too. He is the most talked about animated character of 2012. If he does not make an appearance on a commercial during next year's Superbowl I'll be damned!
Ted: Thunder buddies for life, right Johnny?
John: F***in' right!
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