It was a bright summer day down in San Diego California it’s 2016 about 78 degrees out while I was walking down the street. I was down by the flea market picking out some fruits for tomorrow's get together with my family. I was gazing over the oranges trying to see which one looked the juiciest when I heard a man call my name I look up with a questionable face wondering who on earth would be calling my name. “Dean?” I said “is that you?” “Hi Lilly!” said dean “what are you doing here?” said Lilly “I was just taking a walk it's such a beautiful day out” said dean. “Yes it is” said lily with a fake chuckle. “Hey Lilly i’d like to catch up! Wanna get a cup of coffee?” Dean asked. “Yeah sure” said Lilly. As I was walking with Dean I couldn’t help notice how old he has gotten since the last time I saw him which was about 5 years ago when I left him after finding out his little secret that I wasn’t good enough for him apparently. As we almost got to the coffee house I suddenly panicked “I have to go I can’t i'm sorry” I rush home and set my fruits down on the kitchen counter and close my eyes.

It’s 2011 and i'm 15 years old. I was living in Bentonville Arkansas the sun is shining I can smell the fresh mowed grass as I was riding my bike to school. People would call me shy and very smart I don’t have any friends the only person I talk to is Leah and she is my neighbor. I'm not the type of girl that obsesses over how many friends I have and the latest gossip of who's dating who and who got caught with the captain of the cheer squad behind the bleachers. I was just a plain girl in a boring world. It’s mid semester and I'm a freshman in high school. It’s about noon and the bell rings for lunch and I head down the stairs into the cafeteria I order my food and i'm off to finding a table. I sit down and start eating I hear “excuse me can I sit here?” I look up and see a lanky boy with blonde hair and green eyes. “Yes of course” I said clearing up my space so he could sit across from me. “I'm Lilly” he smiled and said “i'm dean”. I’m thinking of ways to bring up a conversation with Dean because not one boy has ever wanted to sit by me. “So what middle school did you go to?” “I didn’t go to a school in Arkansas” “I lived in Nevada before I came here”. said Dean “that's cool! What made you come here?” said Lilly. “Family issues” said dean. “Oh i'm sorry” said Lilly. “Hey I usually hangout after school to help out with cleaning because the school is low on staff you could come if you want it’s pretty fun” said Lilly. Dean smiled and said “thanks I will”. The bell rings and I get up and leave after I say bye to Dean and I head to my last class. It’s about 3 when I finally get home and I notice that there is a piece of paper hanging from my bookbag and it has a phone number written on it with dean's name on the paper I smile and can’t believe he did that without me knowing.

Months later Dean and I have been dating for about 6 months and I couldn’t be happier he is my everything and I am madly in love with him. We went to homecoming together and people were non stop talking about us and how we were so cute I wanted to scream I felt popular even though I’ve always hated popular kids I just didn’t care anymore. A year came with Dean and I and we celebrated by going out to dinner and very nice place actually i'm finally 16 and so my mom is more open to me going out more with Dean and doing more things with him. I’m in 10th grade now. My life feels so complete and i’m so happy but dean seems a little weird today but I ignore it and just think he is in a bad mood today. 3 years later Dean and I are non stop fighting for no reason he yells at me 24/7 he isn’t the same Dean i knew that came up to my lunch table freshman year. One more year later it's gotten worse and I can’t deal with him anymore I am at my breaking point he doesn’t do nice things for me anymore doesn’t compliment me on anything at all he just yells all the time. It's April 15th 2015 and Dean and I just finished having a fight but something doesn’t feel right he storms out the door but his phone keeps buzzing and it irritates me and i’m not the type of person who looks through his phone because I trust him we have been together for 5 years now. There’s a name that pops up and it says Mary “who’s mary?” I say in my head thinking of all my friends and his friends. I open his phone and I read the messages and I can’t believe it he is cheating on me he was cheating on me since 2013 ! Dean comes back in and realizes he left his phone in my room I start yelling at him saying “who’s mary?! How could you?” Dean just looks at me with not a care in the world he got caught he just takes the phone out of my hand and says “you got me” and walks out. I am heartbroken he doesn’t even care he never loved me I am such a fool for letting him into my life from the beginning I am such an idiot! Was I not as pretty as mary is? What was wrong with me? I start blaming myself for his actions. Dean never wanted to talk about what I found on his phone in fact he blocked my number changed all of his seats in the classes we had together so he could have zero contact with me. I became depressed and felt unloved I couldn’t talk to my parents about it because they wouldn’t understand how I feel and what it feels like to feel alone. It’s been 6 months and I am still depressed and I can’t bare it anymore I went to therapy and that’s when I found that it is okay to forgive and to be careful with trust and honesty and I remember talking to Dean and telling him that I forgive him and but I will never forget what he did to me and he just laughed at me and called me crazy.

I open my eyes and it’s 3pm I put my fruits away and sit on my couch and I hear a knock on my door I get up and open the door and there was Dean with flowers and a guilt smile on his face. He hands me the flowers and says “please let’s talk” I smile and say “sure come in” I take the flowers and put them in a vase and I turn around and hand him a glass of water he smiles and takes a sip. All of a sudden he starts choking on the water and begs for help I just sit on my couch and watch him suffer just how I was suffering during those times. Dean falls on the ground and looks at me before he takes his last breath and I say “I forgive you but I will never forget what you did to me” “am I crazy now?”