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The Curious Question of Annoying Children

November 29, 2011
By Mortimer-Micheals-Jacob-Joyce GOLD, Edgar, Wisconsin
More by this author
Mortimer-Micheals-Jacob-Joyce GOLD, Edgar, Wisconsin
12 articles 0 photos 185 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;And when I&#039;m gone, just carry on, don&#039;t mourn<br /> Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice<br /> Just know that I&#039;m looking down on you smiling<br /> And I didn&#039;t feel a thing, So baby don&#039;t feel my pain<br /> Just smile back&quot;-Eminem

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Yesterday, as I strolled down the dried foods aisle of a local supermarket, I heard a strange and frightening noise- the sound of a young child not getting his way. As I drew nearer, the shrieking intensified. Upon reaching the end of the aisle, I saw the reason for the commotion- a boy of about two or three years old had spotted a bin of chocolate candies and wanted a taste. His mother, instead of simply telling him no, had tried to reason with him.

I saw that things could not end well. The child, having wedged his feet under the lip of the shelf near the floor, showed no signs of letting go of the lid of the candy bin. The mother, who by now was nearly sitting on top of the lid, showed no signs of letting the child have his way. The air began to fill with the stench of sweat from the struggle. I turned away my head to continue my shopping.

“We can’t afford this candy right now,” I heard the mother say as I continued my search for dried pineapples. “Maybe I can get you something at the check out.”

She sounded absolutely exhausted. The grimace on the child’s face would have scarred a battle hardened soldier. Besides making my skin crawl, it told me that things would only get worse when they went home. My friends, is this the kind of world we want to live in? Bowing to the will of those that would annoy us to our deaths? I think not. Hence, I continue to advocate the implementation of the Annoyance Removal Agency (ARA), under the leadership of the illustrious and accredited Joshua McAwesome, to defend and protect our future from those who would mar it with further annoyance.
With all due respect and honesty,
Archibald Phineas Crane
Aristocrat,
Internet Blogger,
People Advocating Annoyance Reduction (PAAR)

© Dana H., Wichita Falls, TX

The author's comments:
Ok, so I thought this would be kind of funny. I see people ranting about stupid stuff online all the time, and I figured, "What the heck? Why not?" I like kids, by the way, and I work a lot with middle and elementary schoolers. After writing this, my brother (the real Joshua McAwesome) decided that we want to do a Youtube series based on this petition for peace and quiet.
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This article has 57 comments.

Mortimer-Micheals-Jacob-Joyce GOLD said...
on Dec. 5 2011 at 3:38 pm
Mortimer-Micheals-Jacob-Joyce GOLD, Edgar, Wisconsin
12 articles 0 photos 185 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;And when I&#039;m gone, just carry on, don&#039;t mourn<br /> Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice<br /> Just know that I&#039;m looking down on you smiling<br /> And I didn&#039;t feel a thing, So baby don&#039;t feel my pain<br /> Just smile back&quot;-Eminem

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Yeah, I did.  It looks even better in person than it did online. :)
Tiggerlily14 said...
on Dec. 5 2011 at 3:36 pm
*choking myself.....uhm, kind of, but, she ripped that envelope up and wrapped my snowglobe in it to send back to me  :D  speaking of which, did you like the picture?
Mortimer-Micheals-Jacob-Joyce GOLD said...
on Dec. 5 2011 at 3:30 pm
Mortimer-Micheals-Jacob-Joyce GOLD, Edgar, Wisconsin
12 articles 0 photos 185 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;And when I&#039;m gone, just carry on, don&#039;t mourn<br /> Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice<br /> Just know that I&#039;m looking down on you smiling<br /> And I didn&#039;t feel a thing, So baby don&#039;t feel my pain<br /> Just smile back&quot;-Eminem

View profile
But I know someone who does have your address.  You did put a return address on the thing you sent to T*** the Nike Tike with the presents in it, didn't you?
Tiggerlily14 said...
on Dec. 5 2011 at 3:16 pm
yeah, I know.  but she likes internet safety......a lot....lol
Mortimer-Micheals-Jacob-Joyce GOLD said...
on Dec. 5 2011 at 3:13 pm
Mortimer-Micheals-Jacob-Joyce GOLD, Edgar, Wisconsin
12 articles 0 photos 185 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;And when I&#039;m gone, just carry on, don&#039;t mourn<br /> Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice<br /> Just know that I&#039;m looking down on you smiling<br /> And I didn&#039;t feel a thing, So baby don&#039;t feel my pain<br /> Just smile back&quot;-Eminem

View profile

Teen Ink doesn't give that out to anyone, you know...

I think she'd like TI, and she should try it.

Tiggerlily14 said...
on Dec. 5 2011 at 3:11 pm
hmmm, ya know...sometimes it seems like it  o_O  other times.....nah, well...maybe, no you wouldn't!!  would you?  oh wait you don't know my address, okay I'm good
Tiggerlily14 said...
on Dec. 5 2011 at 3:09 pm
haha  okay  that'll do  :P
Tiggerlily14 said...
on Dec. 5 2011 at 3:09 pm
haha  I showed her this one, and she said that, but she didn't want to give out her name and email address  :P
Mortimer-Micheals-Jacob-Joyce GOLD said...
on Dec. 5 2011 at 3:08 pm
Mortimer-Micheals-Jacob-Joyce GOLD, Edgar, Wisconsin
12 articles 0 photos 185 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;And when I&#039;m gone, just carry on, don&#039;t mourn<br /> Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice<br /> Just know that I&#039;m looking down on you smiling<br /> And I didn&#039;t feel a thing, So baby don&#039;t feel my pain<br /> Just smile back&quot;-Eminem

View profile
NO...... You think?
Mortimer-Micheals-Jacob-Joyce GOLD said...
on Dec. 5 2011 at 3:08 pm
Mortimer-Micheals-Jacob-Joyce GOLD, Edgar, Wisconsin
12 articles 0 photos 185 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;And when I&#039;m gone, just carry on, don&#039;t mourn<br /> Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice<br /> Just know that I&#039;m looking down on you smiling<br /> And I didn&#039;t feel a thing, So baby don&#039;t feel my pain<br /> Just smile back&quot;-Eminem

View profile
I'm about to submit a new song, will that do?
Mortimer-Micheals-Jacob-Joyce GOLD said...
on Dec. 5 2011 at 3:07 pm
Mortimer-Micheals-Jacob-Joyce GOLD, Edgar, Wisconsin
12 articles 0 photos 185 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;And when I&#039;m gone, just carry on, don&#039;t mourn<br /> Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice<br /> Just know that I&#039;m looking down on you smiling<br /> And I didn&#039;t feel a thing, So baby don&#039;t feel my pain<br /> Just smile back&quot;-Eminem

View profile
Alayne? She reads my work?
Tiggerlily14 said...
on Dec. 5 2011 at 3:04 pm
LOL nope, she doesn't even know I talk to you  :P  think of how we became friends
Tiggerlily14 said...
on Dec. 5 2011 at 2:52 pm
submit something new so i have something new to comment on.....lol  I am getting overly bored, and you have experienced what that leads to.  ;)  that looks like an evil grin.....exactly what I needed!!!  =D
Mortimer-Micheals-Jacob-Joyce GOLD said...
on Dec. 5 2011 at 2:48 pm
Mortimer-Micheals-Jacob-Joyce GOLD, Edgar, Wisconsin
12 articles 0 photos 185 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;And when I&#039;m gone, just carry on, don&#039;t mourn<br /> Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice<br /> Just know that I&#039;m looking down on you smiling<br /> And I didn&#039;t feel a thing, So baby don&#039;t feel my pain<br /> Just smile back&quot;-Eminem

View profile
Your sister?
Mortimer-Micheals-Jacob-Joyce GOLD said...
on Dec. 5 2011 at 2:47 pm
Mortimer-Micheals-Jacob-Joyce GOLD, Edgar, Wisconsin
12 articles 0 photos 185 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;And when I&#039;m gone, just carry on, don&#039;t mourn<br /> Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice<br /> Just know that I&#039;m looking down on you smiling<br /> And I didn&#039;t feel a thing, So baby don&#039;t feel my pain<br /> Just smile back&quot;-Eminem

View profile
Mhmm.  Pretty awesome...
Tiggerlily14 said...
on Dec. 5 2011 at 10:59 am
I am up north.......is there supposed to be a message getting through to me?
Tiggerlily14 said...
on Dec. 5 2011 at 10:56 am
I mean other than me.....
Tiggerlily14 said...
on Dec. 5 2011 at 10:56 am
....w.o.w.  xD  
Mortimer-Micheals-Jacob-Joyce GOLD said...
on Dec. 5 2011 at 10:54 am
Mortimer-Micheals-Jacob-Joyce GOLD, Edgar, Wisconsin
12 articles 0 photos 185 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;And when I&#039;m gone, just carry on, don&#039;t mourn<br /> Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice<br /> Just know that I&#039;m looking down on you smiling<br /> And I didn&#039;t feel a thing, So baby don&#039;t feel my pain<br /> Just smile back&quot;-Eminem

View profile
Mhmm........
Mortimer-Micheals-Jacob-Joyce GOLD said...
on Dec. 5 2011 at 10:51 am
Mortimer-Micheals-Jacob-Joyce GOLD, Edgar, Wisconsin
12 articles 0 photos 185 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;And when I&#039;m gone, just carry on, don&#039;t mourn<br /> Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice<br /> Just know that I&#039;m looking down on you smiling<br /> And I didn&#039;t feel a thing, So baby don&#039;t feel my pain<br /> Just smile back&quot;-Eminem

View profile
250 views already!  That was fast!  Anyways... Still a 5 star rating.  This is one of my most discussed pieces already, and it's only been about 3 days...