Twenty-five to twenty-four. The score infiltrated my thoughts as I began my approach. One step, a jump, down to get momentum, and up as high as I can. I raised my arm back as the ball was set toward me, quickly swinging through and slamming the ball down on the other side of the net. It was the third set. This spike could win the game. It had to win the game. The other team was diving for the ball, and then-- slam! As I landed, my shoe came loose and bent to the side. I didn’t know it then, but I had torn my ACL. The sound of my body dropping to the floor echoed throughout the entire gym. My teammates were screaming and celebrating, muffling my shrieking in pain unsuccessfully. The entire gym crowded around me, staring at my contorted leg with gasps and petrified faces. What was going on? I know my leg was hurting, but I just twisted my ankle badly. Right? The paramedic told me not to look at my leg and that I was going to be okay. But why wouldn’t I be? It’s just a sprained ankle. It can’t be more than that.
They rushed me onto a stretcher and into an ambulance, where I asked, “My leg is fine, right? It doesn’t even hurt that… OW!”
“The pain medication just wore off!” My mother shouted.
The paramedic responded with something I couldn’t hear over my own screaming. Until the pain medication started to work, the only thing I could do was hit or bite or kick something, which I did. Well, not the kicking part, I guess, but you get the point.
When I woke up, there were several large stitches holding my leg together, which was elevated and cast. My mother was sitting next to my bed as my father was pacing the room.
“Mom, what happened?” I asked.
“Sweetie,” my mom replied, “you landed on your leg the wrong way during the last play of the volleyball game. Your leg turned the opposite way, and you tore your ACL.”
“I will still be able to play by next season though, right?” I begged. Volleyball was my life. Without it, I had nothing. I needed to be able to play by next season.
“I’m not so sure…” My mother began.
“No! I have to be healed by next season. My team needs me!” I shrieked.
“But what you need is far more important to me right now. You may be able to play by next season, but there is no way of knowing yet,” my mom countered, “Either way, I am not letting you so much as touch a volleyball until the doctors clear you for sports.”
“But mom! I will fall so far behind if I don’t continue playing! This isn’t fair!” I shouted.
“Honey, you need to rest. We’ll leave you alone now.” She said while walking out of the door.
“I’m sure you’ll be better in no time,” my father added before following her.
No one in my family understood how much I love this sport. They were all very supported and I love them, but they have always prioritized my school work and grades over volleyball. They don’t understand that I don’t care about my grades. Volleyball is my passion. I have been a starter on Varsity both Freshman and Sophomore year, and I have been told that recruiting scouts were already coming to our games. This was what I wanted to do with my life.
The doctors told me and my family the next morning that we could go home as long as I agreed to stay off of my leg as much as possible, which I gladly agreed to. My physical therapy would hopefully start soon, and he said that normal ACL tears take about six to nine months to heal. However, since I am an athlete, apparently I need to heal for a longer amount of time before I can return to playing volleyball. He said a lot of things after that, but I didn’t pay attention. I couldn’t. I might not be able to play volleyball next year.
Throughout my recovery, many of my teammates visited me while I just laid in bed. I didn’t come to school for two full weeks. They were all worried about me, and I appreciated that, but I still told them I didn’t want visitors. I couldn’t see their faces, and their functioning knees. I just wanted to be alone. That was until my parents confronted me in my room one day.
“You have said no to all of your friends visiting you, and you haven’t left your room besides going to your physical therapy. We’re worried about you.” My dad said.
“We think you need a new hobby or something new to focus on.” My mother added.
“But I don’t want to do anything except for volleyball!” I argued.
“Remember when you used to want to be a doctor last year? But then volleyball got in the way, and you stopped focusing on your school work. I think you should really work on getting your grades back to how they were before. Maybe you can join a club or something else, I just think that you need something to focus on.” She replied, and she was completely right. I had wanted to be a doctor for my entire life, until I started playing volleyball last year. I guess a part of me never stopped wanting to become one.
“I’ll think about it.” I answered.
“Alright, let me know what you decide.” My mom and dad agreed.
I searched up my high school's website to find what clubs and new classes would be available to me during the next semester of school. I scrolled through the options for over an hour, but I was clearly drawn to one specific class. It was an Advanced Placement science class that taught about medical procedures and surgeries, medical terminology, and we even got to visit a hospital and tour the surgical rooms! It sounded perfect for me. I looked up the class description and saw the reviews of the class. Apparently it was one of the hardest science classes offered at my school. Few people are successful in it. Even though my grades had slipped a little bit, I was still in many good classes and had enough credits and requirements to be able to take this class, and I know that I can do it.
During breakfast the next morning, I told my parents about the class, “It’s a very difficult class, and it will be extremely time-consuming, but you're right. I think this will be very good for me right now.”
“I’m so proud of you, you are going to do great in this class! When do you start?” My mom asked me.
“After Christmas break is over, so I guess next week!” I didn’t realize it was going to be that soon. What if everyone in the class is smarter than I? What if I can’t do it?
My mom clearly saw the panic in my expression, “You’re going to do great. I know you will, because I know you. You have always been interested in these kinds of things. I know that you can do this.” She assured me.
“Thanks mom.” I really needed that. This class was surely going to be difficult, but I can do it. I don’t have volleyball taking up all of my time anymore, so I have plenty of time to study and do homework assignments for this class.
Christmas break had just ended, and it was our first day back at school. That means that I have to start my new science class. I was shaking as I walked into the school, and not just because of the bone chilling temperatures outside.
“Brooke! You’re back!” My teammate, Mackenzie, squealed. She almost tackled me once she saw me, causing me to lose balance on my crutches. I tripped and tumbled into a girl standing near us, and we both came crashing down.
“Ow!” She screamed.
“I am so sorry! I just lost balance and--” I apologized.
“You should watch where…” she began, “oh my gosh, I didn’t realize you had a cast! Do you need help?”
“Yes, please.” I accepted. She grabbed one of my arms as Mackenzie grabbed my other and hoisted me up to where my crutches lie against the wall.
“Thank you, and just one more thing.” I said.
“What?” She asked.
“Do you know where classroom 137 is?” I asked her.
“Oh that’s actually not too far, I have that class right now too! AP Biology and Anatomy with Mr. Crown, right?” She answered. “I’m Sarah, by the way.” Sarah seemed really nice, but I can’t believe that I made such a terrible first impression.
“It’s really nice to meet you, I'm Brooke!” I introduced myself, “I’m really glad that I met someone in this class, is it true that there's only going to be ten people in this class?”
“Yeah, I was in this class last semester too, and there was only eight people in the entire class! You and one other person joined, but we still barely have any people in our class.” She said as we walked toward the classroom.
“Oh you took it last semester too? Was it really hard?” I asked.
“It was really hard at first, but it got easier once I got used to the workload and how the tests work.” She said, “I can help you get the hang of things if you want!”
“Really? That would be great!” I replied. I think Sarah could definitely be a potentially new friend.
“Okay, what about we go to the library after school tomorrow and I can get you up to speed on the teacher, homework, and tests and stuff!” She offered.
“Sounds perfect, thank you.” I said as we walked into the classroom. Mr. Crown was standing at the front of the class writing something on the chalkboard in large, messy letters. He moved to the side to allow the students to see what he had written, and the words chalked onto the board read, “Hard Work.” He proceeded to lecture us for the coming ten minutes about hard work and this class.
“If you aren’t going to work hard, then you might as well leave now, because there is no spot for you in my class.” He addressed, “We have two new students this semester, and I expect you both to be caught up with the rest of the class come the beginning of February.”
February? That was in three weeks! How was I supposed to catch up by then?
Once class was over, Sarah approached me and said, “He’s really strict about due dates, so you really need to be caught up by then. We have a lot of work to do.”
“We?” I asked.
“Yes we, how else are you going to catch up?” Sarah asked. I am so glad I found a friend in this class. I don’t know what I would do without her for the next month.
“Brooke! You’re back!” I heard my volleyball team call as they waved me over.
“I’ll see you later,” I told Sarah.
My coach was sitting with the rest of my team, as they anxiously waited to find out when I was able to play again.
“The doctor said that I might not be healed for a while. I might not be able to play next season.” I broke the bad news. I felt terrible because they all looked so disappointed. “But I will come to all the games and even help out at practices if you want me to!”
“That’s nice Brooke, I hope you feel better soon.” My coach thanked me.
I kept this promise; well, mostly. I wasn’t able to come to the semi-final game this season because I was studying for my first science test with Sarah, but I was planning on going to the championship game and most of the practices.
At the championship game, we were playing our rivals, the Rhinetown Ravens. They were undefeated this entire season, and our one loss was to them. But I know that we can beat them. In the final set, we were up 18-14. We were easily heading toward a win! The ravens started to catch up to us, making the score 18-18. It was a tie game. There was no telling who would win. And just as fast as they had tied with us, they served an ace right across the court, winning the game and the championship title. If I had been playing in the game, I know that we would have won. My entire life has been changed all because of one stupid injury. My teammates shook off tears as I consoled them about their loss, but congratulated them on playing well. Without being at practice together every day after school, my teammates and I drifted apart. We stopped hanging out together after school and sitting with each other at lunch. I started spending most of my time with Sarah and some of the other people in my class. We were constantly studying for something in that class, and it was really beneficial for me to have friends who can help me with studying and homework. I met Ellie and Taylor, who are also in the class, and we all study together every day after school. I missed my volleyball friends, but the truth is that I like my new friends much better.
“Brooke, what did you get on the final?” Ellie asked as she ran over to me.
“I got…” I say, looking disappointed, “an A!”
“You scared me!” She punched my shoulder. “But anyway, I got an A too! Are you going to take the class again next year?”
“I think so, I really liked it this year.” I began, “I just don’t know if I will have time for it if i do volleyball next season…”
“I thought you didn’t want to play volleyball anymore?” Sarah stated as she walked over to us.
“Well, I’m not really sure. I mean, volleyball was my life, but now I have this class and all of you! It is a really hard decision, and I need to make it fast.” I voiced.
“I really hope that you will choose to stay with us in our class, but I get why you would choose volleyball.” Ellie assured me, “We will still be friends no matter what.”
“Thanks, Ellie,” I expressed. I truly had no idea what my decision would be. I knew that my heart and brain were heading in two opposite directions, but I didn’t know which one was right. I walked to my next class, rushing because it was all the way on the other side of the school. I was already late!
“Brooke! Wait up!” Mackenzie yelled.
“I’m going to be late! Sorry Kenz!” I shouted back while she ran over to where I was heading to fourth period.
“Brooke, you can finally be back on the volleyball team!” Mackenzie celebrated. “You are coming back, right?”
“I don’t know, Kenz…” I started.
“What? Brooke, we need you on our team! Aren’t you cleared by the doctors yet?” She argued.
“I know! But I’m not sure if I want to come back…” I replied.
“You-” Mackenzie began. She was astonished by my response. “I have to go.”
I had always loved volleyball and I thought that I always would, but I don’t think that it is the right path for me anymore. I have been happier than ever before during these past few months.
After the last day of school, my mother informed me, “Brooke, I have amazing news! The doctor said that you will be able to play volleyball next season!”
“That’s great!” I said wearily.
“Why don’t you sound excited?” My mother asked me.
“I don’t really know if I want to play volleyball anymore. If I did play next season, it would take up all of my time and I wouldn’t be able to keep taking my new science class! I love all of my new friends and everything that I have been learning from Mr. Crown, and I really want to continue with that. Is it okay if I don’t play volleyball next year?” I explained.
“Of course, Brooke.” My mom assured me, “Whatever makes you happy will make me happy!”
“Thanks, mom,” I said as I hugged her.
Throughout the next two years of high school, I worked as hard as I could in all of my classes. I even took a couple of classes at the local college! I ended my high school career as the Salutatorian of my high school, with Sarah as the Valedictorian.
I consequently had to give a speech at our graduation ceremony, in which I said, “I have had to make many tough decisions and sacrifices throughout my life, and quitting volleyball was one of the toughest decisions I have ever had to make. During my sophomore year, I tore my ACL while playing my favorite sport in the entire world. I took hours of physical therapy, exercised my leg as much as I could muster, and supported my team from the sidelines until I realized that my recovery would take much longer than I expected. My parents advised me to find a new hobby or join something new, which I had thought was a ridiculous idea back then. Turns out, it would be one of the best things I had ever done in my life. I joined a new science class in which we learned many of the basics of becoming a future doctor of some kind. Without this class, I would not have met some of the best friends that I have ever had. I also would not be going to John Hopkins University next year for Medicine!” A loud cheer erupted from the audience, “In closing, I would like to leave you with this. Decisions can be hard, but go with what your heart is telling you, because your heart will always know what you want. Your brain may try to influence your decision, but your heart is much more powerful than your brain. Literally and figuratively. But in all seriousness, go with your gut. It always knows exactly what you want. Congratulations to the class of 2014!”
The audience applauded as my parents wiped their wet eyes with their sleeves. The decision to stop playing volleyball was one of the hardest I have had to make in my entire life, but it was worth it in the end. I have an amazing future ahead of me, and I am ready to embrace it.