Opulence | Teen Ink

Opulence MAG

May 1, 2008
By AquaGem SILVER, Kalamazoo, Michigan
AquaGem SILVER, Kalamazoo, Michigan
5 articles 0 photos 50 comments

Favorite Quote:
Nobody will ever win the Battle of the Sexes. There&#039;s just too much fraternizing with the enemy. ~Henry Kissinger<br /> <br /> Life it too short to let you matter.


I’ve been watching him for days now. When he leaves his house to go to school, I’m the one carefully tailing him, switching cars every day to make myself look less suspicious. If he ever sneaks out of his second-story room, I’ll be the one silently watching from a nearby tree. In class when he turns, feeling eyes on the back of his head, I’m the one who sent the hair on the back of his neck up on end. I am the girl whose shadow is always slightly overlapping his.

Being assigned to watch him almost makes me
feel like I’m not a stalker. Though I’m only 17, I’m a full-fledged member of the organization known as O.P.U.L.E.N.C.E. I’ve been with them since the ­tender age of five. It’s my home. Being an orphan, my office is also my permanent residence, the couch a fold-out bed. There are many others like me: no family. A lot of us are loners and haven’t chosen this route for ourselves.

I’m a tracker. I have been for years and some might say that I am the best at not being the best. In other words, I’m great at being invisible. Or at not being noticed. It’s not as hard as the others in the organization think. Being young and female is good, since most we track are young. Seeing me around younger people – my age, actually – doesn’t raise alarm bells. It helps that I’m cute. With a small frame, light hazel eyes, and short blond hair that curls under my chin, I don’t appear threatening. Of course, my ­organization-funded training doesn’t back that theory.

Soon I won’t be tracking down others with the power. They are finally going to give me an apprentice. After years of mastering everything I’ve been taught, they see my potential. That’s not to say I know everything. Even with my extended life I won’t be able to learn all the things I want to. If only this annoying boy would show the signs. It’s been almost a week. If he doesn’t show soon, they’ll reassign me. That much longer until I get my apprentice.

So here I am, sipping a latté and waiting for the Target to leave for school. I have been put in all of his classes in case something happens there, though I graduated high school years ago. Private tutors sped things up. With no family or personal ties, I had lots of time to devote to my studies. Martial arts black belts. Twelve languages, not including English. Everything a girl needs for a serious career in the agency. Such positions of power are not handed out easily. You must prove yourself many times over.

The Target and I have never spoken, but I know a lot about him. His file told me some, but after watching him for only a few days, I feel confident in saying that I know things no one else does. Not just the obvious, either. He resents his father and is protective of his mother, which makes me suspect the father is less than faithful. He smiles often but doesn’t make a lot of eye contact. He usually only speaks when spoken to. Although he has many friends, he isn’t close with any of them. The Target is observant, a watcher. This leads me to believe we would get along if he shows any promise.

I look down at my watch, then back at his house a few blocks away. The Target is late, which means I’ll be late too. Today my ride is a shiny black sports car, not out of place in this suburb full of midlife-crisis men. I turn on the engine impatiently. I’m fiddling with the radio when I hear something. I don’t feel any immediate danger, and I know to trust those feelings. But I ­also know that something is off.

Just as I am about to get out of the car and pretend to look in the trunk, the passenger door opens. I look up in surprise as the Target slides into the seat next to me. I grin, quite pleased by this turn of events. This is definitely a good sign. Perhaps intuition is strong in him. That would be good for my apprentice to have, complementary. I could handle having to deal with that.

“Hello, Lenna. Why have you been following me for a week now?” the Target asks lightly, conversationally, his first words ever said in my direction.

Ah, one of my many aliases. The organization set it up so that whenever I’m on a case, I get a new name, past, and present. It’s very powerful. The organization can basically do anything it needs; it has people everywhere imaginable. I’m just one of many, though there aren’t that many at the top, as I am. They don’t trust many to be trackers. Or to be apprentices. All of the full members have the power, though we control others to get things done.

My smile deepens as I say in my authoritative, professional voice, “My real name is Jade. I am a witch of the moon and a tracker for the organization known as O.P.U.L.E.N.C.E. You are also a witch. We would like to formally welcome you into the organization as my apprentice. Here is my card for verification.”

Jade Wordsworth
Tracker for O.P.U.L.E.N.C.E
Official Political Understanding Lending ­Everyone ­Navigation for Co-Existing Ethereals
Office hours: 8 a.m.-3 p.m. Mon-Sat
Phone: 555-5555
Proud league of witches of the sun and moon.
Worldwide.

“What do you mean ‘moon and sun’? Or ‘tracker’?” he asks, still looking at my card like it’s going to ­disappear.

“Types of magic. Moon is all about spells, the sun is more potion-based, though each type of witchcraft involves the other somehow. As a tracker, I find people like you and I bring them to O.P.U.L.E.N.C.E. Every witch must register, train, and become a member by law. In fact, the organization is like a government targeted toward witches,” I explain with a smile, loving the fact that this time I get to teach the newbie.

“Magic? Seriously?” he asks, eyes wide, meeting mine. They are large, yellow, and catlike.

I click a button on my left, automatically locking the doors. I put the car into drive, pulling out onto the road. As an afterthought I add as a courtesy, “I think you had better come with me.” .



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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 896 comments.


on Mar. 11 2010 at 12:30 am
francinejar SILVER, Chino Hills, California
7 articles 1 photo 22 comments

Favorite Quote:
God and the devil are raging inside me.

whens more coming

lskiuyt said...
on Mar. 10 2010 at 5:09 pm
uhh, interesting, but i dont like it very much

kincaid789 said...
on Mar. 10 2010 at 9:32 am
i like it!!! not the magic part though

on Mar. 6 2010 at 3:49 pm
xLoVeLyCuTiEe428x PLATINUM, Nanuet, New York
24 articles 0 photos 102 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;To me, Fearless is not the absense of fear. It&#039;s not being completely unafraid. To me, Fearless is having fears. Fearless is having doubts. Lots of them. To me, Fearless is living in spite of those things that scare you to death.&quot; <br /> &mdash; Taylor Swift

I loove it!

on Mar. 6 2010 at 11:01 am
potentialgurl BRONZE, Quincy, Illinois
3 articles 0 photos 18 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.&quot; -Eleanor Roosevelt

It was okay but not a masterpiece. I agree, you should've gone with a more spyish theme, but still a good story

bobfourever said...
on Mar. 4 2010 at 5:03 am
I think this was really good, until you got the magic part in there... I think it would've been just as great if it were more of a CIA thing.

on Mar. 3 2010 at 6:52 pm
SBloodClassicAlice BRONZE, Butler, Pennsylvania
3 articles 0 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Truth passes through three stages:<br /> First, it is considered absurd and is ignored or ridiculed.<br /> Next, it is considered dangerous to the status quo, and viciously attacked.<br /> Finally, it is considered wholesome, indeed, self-evident.&quot;<br /> -Arther Schopenhau

Srry, neither was I. (I'm kinda a girll, too... ;P ) And no, I didn't believe it was meant to be an insult. I guess I was kinda hyped up because there were different ways of going about the storyline/plot, none of them to be discouraged. Sorry though, that was a bit over-zelous... lol ;P

on Mar. 1 2010 at 3:52 pm
FadetoFluorescent SILVER, Cincinnati, Ohio
9 articles 0 photos 13 comments
Calm down, buddy.

He/she's allowed to express his/her opinion on the piece, thats what comments are for, right? No need to get defensive here. :O

Personally, I do agree a bit that the story-line is pretty worn-out inspite of the good writing. I think the fact that there are so many published and unpublished novels with this basic plot reinforces the lack of originality at the heart of the plot. That wasn't meant to be an insult to you or to the writer here, I'm just saying. c:

on Mar. 1 2010 at 3:43 pm
FadetoFluorescent SILVER, Cincinnati, Ohio
9 articles 0 photos 13 comments
This was well-written, deffinately! I loved the imagery and the way the sentances varied and flowed. Your use of adjectives and all-around descriptive language was fantastic, and it moved the story along well. And I'm not just saying that; I really liked it C:

As good as your writing is, however, you might want to review your character development a bit. As the piece progressed, I found myself disliking your main character, though it seems as if you meant for her to be well-liked by the readers. She seemed a little 'too perfect', and perhaps even a bit Mary-Sue-like. She's pretty, dangerous, strong, independant, the best at what she does, super-smart, advanced for her age, magical... its a bit tiring. You may want to play up some of her flaws, or, if she has none as of now, give her some. Mention a huge fumble she had, show her huge lack of confidence, reveal her missing middle toe, you get the idea. It simply gives the characters more believability and makes them easier to relate to, which makes them more likeable. People fall for the underdogs and flawed characters; imperfect is easier to identify with.

on Feb. 28 2010 at 10:33 am
Waterlogged BRONZE, Grapevine, Texas
1 article 0 photos 36 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Winston, you are drunk.&quot; To which Churchill responded, &quot;and you, madam, are ugly. But in the morning, I&#039;ll be sober,&quot;-Lady Astor and Winston Churchill

I thought it moved too fast. I also thought he wouldn't ask her such a blunt question about her following him. It was pretty good, but not amazing.

on Feb. 24 2010 at 8:58 am
star_struck_93, Smithville, Mississippi
0 articles 0 photos 19 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Music speaks what cannot be expressed, soothes the mind and gives it rest, heals the heart and makes it whole, flows from heaven to the soul.&rdquo;

I thought this story was really good. I agree with some of the other comments you did rush a bit but it was still really good. Keep writting

on Feb. 23 2010 at 7:29 pm
polyprincess16 SILVER, Tracy, California
7 articles 0 photos 29 comments

Favorite Quote:
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. ~Eleanor Roosevelt

I thought your story was pretty good. it was well written, but i was very confused up until the end.

on Feb. 23 2010 at 4:04 pm
MyFairyTaleEnding SILVER, Villa Ridge, Missouri
7 articles 0 photos 86 comments
You are a wonderful writer but your story kind of rushes into things a little too quickly. I love the whole plot, but you might want to make the finding out he's a witch a bit more gradual. Other than that it's AWESOME

on Feb. 23 2010 at 2:41 pm
SBloodClassicAlice BRONZE, Butler, Pennsylvania
3 articles 0 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Truth passes through three stages:<br /> First, it is considered absurd and is ignored or ridiculed.<br /> Next, it is considered dangerous to the status quo, and viciously attacked.<br /> Finally, it is considered wholesome, indeed, self-evident.&quot;<br /> -Arther Schopenhau

Lol, no prob.

AquaGem SILVER said...
on Feb. 22 2010 at 10:02 pm
AquaGem SILVER, Kalamazoo, Michigan
5 articles 0 photos 50 comments

Favorite Quote:
Nobody will ever win the Battle of the Sexes. There&#039;s just too much fraternizing with the enemy. ~Henry Kissinger<br /> <br /> Life it too short to let you matter.

Thank you so much for your comment! This story might not seem very emotional but I wanted her to come off as rather cold and not very emotional. Also I'm writing this as a full length novel and have found it hard to find shorter parts to submit. Right now this section is a prologue to the actual story.

turn_it_up(: said...
on Feb. 21 2010 at 10:04 am
oohhh. well go us! epileptics! (:

on Feb. 21 2010 at 9:40 am
SBloodClassicAlice BRONZE, Butler, Pennsylvania
3 articles 0 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Truth passes through three stages:<br /> First, it is considered absurd and is ignored or ridiculed.<br /> Next, it is considered dangerous to the status quo, and viciously attacked.<br /> Finally, it is considered wholesome, indeed, self-evident.&quot;<br /> -Arther Schopenhau

You're helping it being most discussed. Wasn't this CONSTRUCTIVE criticism, btw? And if you think this basic plot isn't original, I'll send you my two-book 800 pg partially published versions. 'The Cold', and 'Secrets'.

on Feb. 21 2010 at 9:37 am
SBloodClassicAlice BRONZE, Butler, Pennsylvania
3 articles 0 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Truth passes through three stages:<br /> First, it is considered absurd and is ignored or ridiculed.<br /> Next, it is considered dangerous to the status quo, and viciously attacked.<br /> Finally, it is considered wholesome, indeed, self-evident.&quot;<br /> -Arther Schopenhau

The emotion ISn't very strong in this, but the plot may not call for that. Also, consider the fact that this may be the author's daydream- (I'll b quiet about that) If it had any more emotion, you wouldn't want to read it. That's just my bet.

Also? This idea might be a little longer than what she wanted to post, and she just 'summed it up', and if not, then it was a very good way of bringing across key points and ideas for a short story like this. It leads you one way, then another, and finishes with quite another idea entirely. Good job;P

BethA GOLD said...
on Feb. 21 2010 at 12:54 am
BethA GOLD, Ballarat, Other
15 articles 0 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
God gives with one and takes with another.

oh my gosh... i posted a comment on the article :S

no, somebody posted a comment further down claiming that they just "had a seizure and heart attack"??

I found it somewhat offensive as I have epilepsy and do not think that 'having seizures' is something to really laugh about.

turn_it_up(: said...
on Feb. 20 2010 at 1:59 pm
loved it! i agree with the positive and negative comments. great plot etc, but the explanation was rushed.